Self care is one of the hardest things for parents to do - mostly because of the ginormous pile of stuff that you have to do every day. Our team today will get you thinking about the importance of taking good care of your kid’s parents. The two first steps are to:
Reach a level of commitment in your own heart and mind that this is a high priority.
Be intentional about what you will do and create the time to do it.
Self care is the way to rejuvenate yourself - the root of the word rejuvenate literally means “to make young again”. What could you accomplish for your family if you were young again? Vicki also added some comments about how exhaustion is not a pre-requisite for rejuvenation.
As we understand the three stages (from the CD) we can more effectively set up learning experiences for our kids from the top down. In this call we cover several specific ideas for effective consequences, and the importance of a positive approach. Please share your ideas with our community of parents who are doing the most important job in the world.
Vicki and I were discussing this the other day in the car when we saw a billboard of John Schmidt, a local musician, who was lying on a piano bench playing the piano backwards and upside down. Too often as parents we squelch the creativity of our children by insisting that they do things the “right” way. It is so important to back up enough to see the larger picture, and truly facilitate our children’s growth and development.
Authenticity is something that our world is craving and moving more toward. Being real with your kids actually helps you to establish a loving relationship as well as maintaining authority with them. Too often, we get stuck in the “pretending” mode or try to fill some role. The real power in relationships is for real people to connect with other real people.
I was hanging some Christmas lights on Saturday when a friend came by and hopped out of his truck.He hustled over to where I was standing on the ladder and rather urgently said, “Paul, we need your help – you and your boys – can you come help us?”Well, I’m generally willing to drop whatever when someone needs some help, so I said, “Sure Markus, let me get the boys – what do you need?”He responded that they were trying to play a game of flag football and only had six guys!I got a chuckle out of this, then started thinking – if I am so willing to help somebody work, shouldn’t I also be willing to help somebody play?Play is the work of children, some of the most important work in the world.
Today for the Parental Power call, the team discusses gratitude. Gratitude is one of the most powerful principles for protecting your paradigm, and teaching your kids appreciation. Dr. Jason also shares an historic quote from Abe Lincoln, who instituted the first Thanksgiving.
In today’s Parental Power call, the team takes on the very basics of discipline, which has everything to do with learning. Reinforcement and punishment are defined as what will increase behavior versus what will decrease behavior respectively. Each of these has a positive and a negative form - this does not mean good and bad, but whether you are adding or subtracting something. Understanding these basics of behavioral discipline will help you with children of any age. Don’t forget, your kids understand these principles already and are probably doing things on a daily basis to shape YOUR behavior.
Traditions are an important way to create connection, belonging, security, identity, and positive sentiment in children. Our discussion today focuses on some of the benefits of traditions within the home. I also want to point out the resources of one of our callers today - Danielle has created www.extraordinarymommy.com where you will find a wealth of resources for those who are doing the most important job in the world. Share your thoughts here - especially if you have some unique or interesting family traditions!
“Not My Kid” is no longer a realistic or safe assumption. As parents and community members, we need to better educate ourselves on the increasing problem of substance abuse and the toll it is having on children in our communities. Dr. Paul is joined by Gay Tregaskis and Kye Nordfelt for this call with some frank and pointed discussion about what parents can do. For those in reach of Utah County, there will be a special educational program at 7:00 p.m. at Timpanogos High School on Thursday, November 6th. The program will be held in the little theater (1450 N. 200 E. Orem). Gay would be happy to assist others who would like to set up programs in their own community (gay.tregaskis@imail.org).
