The Joy Quotient
Mar 11th, 2008 by Dr. Paul
Today’s call focused on how to model and teach joy to our children. The ability to model being joyful seems to be the key. It is not dependent on our circumstances or on the behaviors of other people. Toward the end of the call, we talked about the importance of creating an image of yourself as a benevolent and loving parent, as well as taking advantage of the opportunities for “do-overs” when we interact with our kids in a way that is not consistent with this image.
Your post really centered on locus of control. People with an internal locus of control tend to have a more stable sense of who they are and probably even joy. People with an external locus of control probably experience a higher sense of joy when things line up right but tend to fluctuate more over time because their feelings are more dependent on circumstances.
Parents are powerful role models for their children. I am sure joy is one more thing that is modeled.
I LOVE the idea of checking your spirit! Children really pick up on our moods. It is good to remember to be joyful, especially in front of your children. Also you might enjoy just telling your kids how much you love them in creative ways.
Thanks for sharing your podcasts!
I just wanted to share a truth that continues to change my life with my children for the better. Regardless of their age.
The more I have searched to be in tune with my own emotions, the better opportunity I have to experience empathy with my children and others, and the greater the outcome of each situation.
When I recognize that I am feeling frustration or anger, I have learned to STOP, (even mid-sentence…) and ask myself, “Why am I mad?”
It is usually due to a consequence that I will be the enforcer of for one of my children, and let’s face it, that is just not fun. However… through that ’stopping’ process, I have learned that the negative feelings subside and as I allow my children to embrace the consequences of their choices, I have learned to step into the next role of supporting and loving them as they work and feel through their consequences.
To watch your child struggle through a painful consequence brings true and pure empathy to ones heart, as well as a deep joy in seeing them stretch and grow as they improve and strengthen their owns lives.
Thanks for the great insights and help on the call.
Bonnie