Who Owns the Homework?
Jan 8th, 2010 by Dr. Paul
Homework is a common area of concern and sometimes frustration for parents and kids. Figuring out who owns the homework is a first step toward resolving this issue.
Every problem has an owner.
The answer to the question, “who’s problem is this?” is always the person who is bothered or upset.
If the homework problem is owned by you as a parent, the next step is to transfer that problem back to the child (who is the rightful owner).
Not to differ but this site: http://www.YourHomework.com does a pretty great job of keeping parents IN the loop. They’ve got a lot of fans among teachers, parents and even students. Good solutions start with complete awareness of the problem. This site lets you stop a bad study habit before it takes root. JMO
As a school teacher, I loved this. I currently have parents of students who are having problems with this and are trying to give me the problem. Thank you! Now I have somewhere to direct them for the help that we all need as parents.
My question is, Is this shifting of the problem appropriate for younger children in elementary grades? Especially the part of “proving” that their homework is done. Do younger kids have the capacity to track their own work? In the podcast, your example was of a teenager. I teach 10 year-olds. What would be appropriate for them?
Scott - thank you so much for sharing that resource! Parents have to be in the loop. I think part of the trick here is to realize that my problem as a parent is that I want my kid to be happy and successful. The fact that I care about my child makes every relevant issue in their life MY problem. I have to be careful in the process that I don’t steal their problem (and consequently their motivation to solve it).
Cynthia - Good observation about the younger kids and “shifting” the problem. Sometimes when the natural consequences of a problem are not really a “problem” to your child, the shifting happens when you redefine the problem for them. For example the child’s problem might be that they don’t have any access to TV or video games because they didn’t bring home the special sticker that you as a parent agreed with the teacher beforehand would be the indicator of completed work. I have a basic belief that kids are enormously resourceful at solving their own problem, especially when we provide a very supportive and empathic environment and context for them. Cline and Fay have some good tools along these lines in the Love and Logic materials.