Getting To “Yes”
Jan 23rd, 2010 by Dr. Paul
Often we get stuck saying “No” as a parent. From the time our children are very young through the time that they are teens and young adults, a parent is constantly setting limits.
Most people respond more favorably to a positive approach rather than a negative approach. Can you say the same thing in a more positive way?
Most parents would admit that they really mean “yes, IF” rather than “no”.
Train your children to give you some time and space to make a good decision and possibly come up with an answer they like better.
My ten year old son was just listening to this podcast with me and afterwards asked me a “What would it take question” about an issue we have discussed many times and have decided that for our family it is not an option. Unfortunately I had to reply with the answer “A different set of parents.” Sometimes I think it is important to realize that there are some limits and some times that you still do have to say no. When my son heard my answer he replied “you’re not supposed to say no.” Luckily I was able to remind him that I didn’t say “no” although that really was the answer.
By the way, my son asked if you had a podcast for kids. He said he would be interested in listening if you do (he often listens when I do to your parenting podcasts).
Loved this podcast thanks for sharing. I often find myself saying “No” to quickly too. Sometimes I am not even thinking about the question before I utter that quick “NO.”
I know I need to work on this as a parent.. proof
My kids say “NO” to a good thing before they even hear the whole question or idea…kids are smart!
Excellent! Thank you for that reminder. I often get stuck in the ‘no spiral’ where it just seems like I cannot say yes. No has become a habit. It is a habit that I really do not enjoy. Your advice will be helpful. Thank you.